The Scourge Chat Log

07.Duben 2009

ok, I didnt writte this but I thought it was too hillarious to not share. This was written by someone who doesnt even play World of Warcraft, this person is a co-worker of a player that plays on my old realm ravenholdt.


Here's the original link: http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/thread.html?topicId=15864846564&sid=1&pageNo=1

Enjoy

<3 Aelii

***User "theLichKing" has entered the chat.***


[theLichKing]: Hey


[theLichKing]: Anyone there?


[theLichKing]: *drums fingers*


***User "Kel'Thuz4d" has entered the chat.***


[theLichKing]: Hey man.


[Kel'Thuz4d]: my liege


[theLichKing]: Listen, there's this thing I need you to do for me


[Kel'Thuz4d]: anything my liege


[Kel'Thuz4d]: what army must i lay to waste


[Kel'Thuz4d]: whose lands shall i decimate for ur glory


[theLichKing]: Um, yeah, I'm good on decimation for today. We're going to hold off on the decimation for, like, a week or so.


[Kel'Thuz4d]: ok?


[theLichKing]: I was thinking. How much trouble do you think it would be to have a thermostat installed in the Throne Room?


[Kel'Thuz4d]: ...


[Kel'Thuz4d]: y?


[theLichKing]: It's really really cold in here.


[theLichKing]: I'm Lord of the Scourge. I think I should get a thermostat.


[Kel'Thuz4d]: no its a frozen throne


[theLichKing]: Right


[theLichKing]: See that's exactly what I'm talking about. The throne is frozen. The chair that I sit on all day? Literally a block of ice.


[theLichKing]: It is so very, very cold.


[theLichKing]: I actually cannot over-emphasize how cold I am on a daily basis.


[Kel'Thuz4d]: but its supposed to be frozen


[Kel'Thuz4d]: its the source of ur power


[theLichKing]: About that. Can I get my power transferred to some other source?


[theLichKing]: Something that isn't made out of ice that I then have to literally sit on?


[theLichKing]: Someone dropped the ball there.


[Kel'Thuz4d]: ok so like what should it be then


[Kel'Thuz4d]: like a ring?


[theLichKing]: A ring?


[theLichKing]: Seriously, a ring.


[theLichKing]: Do you _read_ history?


[Kel'Thuz4d]: so what then


[theLichKing]: I don't know. I'll think about it. Maybe an armoire.

[Kel'Thuz4d]: armor?

[theLichKing]: No, not armor. An armoire. The furniture.

[theLichKing]: Oh but speaking of armor


[theLichKing]: I have skulls on my kneecaps.


[Kel'Thuz4d]: ok?


[theLichKing]: No, it is _not_ okay.


[theLichKing]: I have skulls.


[theLichKing]: On my _kneecaps_.


[Kel'Thuz4d]: well for the thermostat i think u need approval from a supervisor


[Kel'Thuz4d]: ill just get kiljaeden in here and well sort it out


[theLichKing]: No!


[Kel'Thuz4d]: no its cool


[theLichKing]: No, don't...


[theLichKing]: Ugh, my old boss. I hate this guy.


[theLichKing]: Ok I'll just...I'll act casual. Like old times.


***User "Killzone'jaeden" has entered the chat.***


[Killzone'jaeden]: This had better be important.


[Kel'Thuz4d]: yeah lich king here just wants a warmer throne room is all


[Killzone'jaeden]: Warmer?


[theLichKing]: No it's really not necessary sir


[Killzone'jaeden]: You want a warmer throne room?


[Kel'Thuz4d]: yeah


[theLichKing]: No


[Kel'Thuz4d]: yeah he does


[theLichKing]: I really don't.


[Killzone'jaeden]: Ok sure let me just get right on that


[Killzone'jaeden]: I actually know these guys, they're really great, literally made out of fire


[Killzone'jaeden]: They could heat your room right up for you


[Killzone'jaeden]: They're called the Burning Legion...why don't I just invite them to Azeroth so they can come and


[Killzone'jaeden]: OH WAIT


[Killzone'jaeden]: Someone's too busy being Chatty Cathy to PREPARE HIS WORLD FOR AN APOCALYPSE


[theLichKing]: So sorry sir


[Killzone'jaeden]: Yeah, "sir," that's new


[Kel'Thuz4d]: hey cmon though its not like weve just been sitting around


[Kel'Thuz4d]: were spreading plague and stuff


[Kel'Thuz4d]: we totally spread a lot of plague


[Kel'Thuz4d]: and dont forget the spider war


[theLichKing]: Actually I wouldn't mention that...


[Killzone'jaeden]: Oh yes. The "Spider War."


[Killzone'jaeden]: The "war" where you spent ten years getting rid


[Killzone'jaeden]: OF SPIDERS


[Killzone'jaeden]: Check it out, I had a Mosquito War last night. Mosquito lands on me, I squish it. Done. Two seconds.


[Killzone'jaeden]: Didn't take me ten years


[Killzone'jaeden]: BECAUSE I'M NOT AN IDIOT


[theLichKing]: Yes sir


[theLichKing]: Very sorry sir.


[theLichKing]: I'm on it.


[Killzone'jaeden]: Y'know what, you know who else might want to hear about this


[Killzone'jaeden]: Maybe I shold get Sargeras in here

[theLichKing]: NO! That's not necessary

[Killzone'jaeden]: Hold on I'll go get him.


***User "Killzone'jaeden" has left the chat.***


[theLichKing]: ARE YOU CRAZY


[theLichKing]: "Sure"? Do you know who Sargeras actually is??


[Kel'Thuz4d]: i think so hes alliance right


[theLichKing]: ...


[Kel'Thuz4d]: horde?


[theLichKing]: *headdesk*


***User "An00b'arak" has entered the chat.***


[An00b'arak]: hay guise whats goin on in dis chat


[Kel'Thuz4d]: sup


[An00b'arak]: sup


[Kel'Thuz4d]: sup


[An00b'arak]: sup


[Kel'Thuz4d]: whaaaazzzzaaaaaap


[An00b'arak]: what are yoooooou doing


[theLichKing]: GUYS


[theLichKing]: SERIOUSLY


[An00b'arak]: whats his problem


[Kel'Thuz4d]: hes cold


[An00b'arak]: well yeah he sits on a frozen throne inside of icecrown glacier with a sword named frostmorn


[An00b'arak]: the name icecrown glacier can only imply that among glaciers, which are themselves made of ice, this one is especially icy


[An00b'arak]: its possible there is some coldness involved


[theLichKing]: _Thank_ you!


[theLichKing]: Ok, so install me a thermostat pl0x.


[Kel'Thuz4d]: uh boss ixnay on asking him to install stuff


[An00b'arak]: what is that supposed to mean??


[Kel'Thuz4d]: uh


[An00b'arak]: oh i get it


[An00b'arak]: bc im an arachnid?????


[An00b'arak]: and how could i possibly install a thermostat without thumbs


[An00b'arak]: racist


[Kel'Thuz4d]: no no no


[Kel'Thuz4d]: well ok yeah how would that actually work


[An00b'arak]: im sure i dont know...im just an arachnid


[An00b'arak]: guess what im not ashamed of what i am


[An00b'arak]: >8< spider pride


***User "An00b'arak" has left the chat.***


[Kel'Thuz4d]: thank god


***User "An00b'arak" has entered the chat.***


[Kel'Thuz4d]: oh god


[An00b'arak]: im lodging a formal protest


[An00b'arak]: i am going to let every1 know the scourge is not an equal opportunity employer


[An00b'arak]: and i am being discriminated against due to race


[An00b'arak]: and species


[An00b'arak]: and phylum


[theLichKing]: Ok, look, there's no need to get upset


[An00b'arak]: omg


[An00b'arak]: dont apologize for him arthas


***User "Killzone'jaeden" has entered the chat.***


[Killzone'jaeden]: Sargeras is logging on now.


[theLichKing]: Aw hell.


[Killzone'jaeden]: Precisely.


[theLichKing]: Listen, I wasn't complaining earlier, the temperature is fine...


[An00b'arak]: kiljaeden??


[Killzone'jaeden]: Excuse me, who is this? I'm *Lord* Jaeden to anybody that's not a readlord.


[An00b'arak]: listen killy there is some phylumism going down in this piece


[Killzone'jaeden]: Killy? Oh you do want to die don't you.


[Killzone'jaeden]: Also does nobody capitalize anymore?!


[Killzone'jaeden]: I didn't spend seven aeons feasting on the souls of the righteous just so I could play typing games with the functionally illiterate.


[An00b'arak]: no im serious this is a real issue


[Killzone'jaeden]: *What* is a real issue?


[An00b'arak]: phylum


[An00b'arak]: ism


[Killzone'jaeden]: You best start talking some English


[Killzone'jaeden]: Where the hell is Sargeras?


[theLichKing]: Precisely.


[Killzone'jaeden]: Don't get cute.


[An00b'arak]: i am being discriminated against on the basis of my spinal condition


[Killzone'jaeden]: What is your spinal condition?


[An00b'arak]: i dont have 1


[Killzone'jaeden]: What?


[An00b'arak]: im an arachnid


[An00b'arak]: >8< spider power


[Killzone'jaeden]: Hey LK I thought you squished all of them already. You spent ten years on these morons and you didn't even finish the job?


[An00b'arak]: what


[theLichKing]: Yeah I reanimated him. I'm the Lich King, it's sort of what I do.


[Killzone'jaeden]: So you smashed a bunch of bugs


[Killzone'jaeden]: And then you were like,


[Killzone'jaeden]: "Huh! I sure would like to have those bugs back again!"


[Killzone'jaeden]: Is your brain frozen or what?


[theLichKing]: Ok that's kind of what I was getting at before.


[Killzone'jaeden]: That you're an idiot?


[An00b'arak]: ur horrible


[An00b'arak]: ur a phylumist


[Killzone'jaeden]: Oh no, I'm horrible. Why don't you go and tell all my demon friends how horrible I am. They will be shocked.


[An00b'arak]: phylumist phylumist phulymst phylimist


[An00b'arak]: that gets hard to type after a while though


***User "theLichKing" has kicked user "An00b'arak" from the chat.***


[Kel'Thuz4d]: thank god


***User "An00b'arak" has entered the chat.***


[Kel'Thuz4d]: oh god


[Kel'Thuz4d]: go back to your hole


[theLichKing]: Yeah get out of here


[Killzone'jaeden]: Go back to your hole, spider


[An00b'arak]: p


[An00b'arak]: h


[An00b'arak]: y


[Kel'Thuz4d]: lolwut


[An00b'arak]: l


[An00b'arak]: u


[Killzone'jaeden]: Shut. Up.


[An00b'arak]: m


[Killzone'jaeden]: Dude get rid of this guy.


[An00b'arak]: i

 

***User "theLichKing" has kicked user "An00b'arak" from the chat.***


***User "An00b'arak" has entered the chat.***


[An00b'arak]: sts


***User "An00b'arak" has left the chat.***


[Killzone'jaeden]: Finally


[Killzone'jaeden]: Where the hell is Sargeras


[theLichKing]: It's really not necessary, I withdraw my request completely.


[Kel'Thuz4d]: no he wants armor


[theLichKing]: An *armoire.*


[theLichKing]: Of power.


[Killzone'jaeden]: I cannot express how much I hate both of you.


[Killzone'jaeden]: And this is coming from someone whose lungs are made out of solidified hate.


***User "~*`Sylvanas'*~" has entered the chat.***


[~*`Sylvanas'*~]: hey everyone ^_^


[theLichKing]: How did you get in here?!


[theLichKing]: This is a private chat!


[~*`Sylvanas'*~]: lol :)


[~*`Sylvanas'*~]: i hacked admin :)


***User "theLichKing" has kicked user "~*`Sylvanas'*~" from the chat.***


[~*`Sylvanas'*~]: lol lol lol


[Killzone'jaeden]: TIE fighters


[theLichKing]: What?


[Killzone'jaeden]: Nothing. Can't you kick her out?


[theLichKing]: I just tried


[~*`Sylvanas'*~]: admin guys lol


[~*`Sylvanas'*~]: :) ^___^


[~*`Sylvanas'*~]: oh plus i can chat under ur names check this out


[theLichKing]: im a little girl and i like ponies lol


[theLichKing]: What! I hate ponies!


[Killzone'jaeden]: ROFLMAO


[Kel'Thuz4d]: she hax0red you dude


[theLichKing]: This isn't funny!


[theLichKing]: i play with dolls


[theLichKing]: and bake cookies with my mommy


[theLichKing]: Untrue! I deny everything


[Killzone'jaeden]: Hahaha


[theLichKing]: Ok guys this is lame let's just go to a different chat room


[Killzone'jaeden]: NO!


[Killzone'jaeden]: We're waiting for Sargeras!


[Killzone'jaeden]: It's next to impossible to get him into these things anyway


[Killzone'jaeden]: I'm not going to confuse him


[theLichKing]: im a little teapot short and stout


[Killzone'jaeden]: Besides this is hilarious


[Killzone'jaeden]: Sargeras is going to get here and you'll be singing about teapots...you'll get pwned


[Killzone'jaeden]: Maybe he'll buy you a "pwny"


[Killzone'jaeden]: Hahaha see what I did there


[Kel'Thuz4d]: i dont get it


[Kel'Thuz4d]: wait ok but thats dumb


[Killzone'jaeden]: Wordplay. Look it up.


[Killzone'jaeden]: i like to dress up like a girl


[Killzone'jaeden]: Oh now she's doing it to me too


[Killzone'jaeden]: i like to put on women's clothes


[Killzone'jaeden]: and pretend im a woman


***User "~*`Sylvanas'*~" has left the chat.***


[Killzone'jaeden]: and look at myself in the mirror all pretty


[Killzone'jaeden]: and call myself the prettiest prettiest princess


[theLichKing]: Umm she's not here anymore


[theLichKing]: Are you just typing that stuff yourself?


[Kel'Thuz4d]: ...


[theLichKing]: ...


[Killzone'jaeden]: ...


[Killzone'jaeden]: WHERE THE HELL IS SARGERAS


***User "~*`Sylvanas'*~" has entered the chat.***


[~*`Sylvanas'*~]: heeeeeee~


[Kel'Thuz4d]: omg wtf this sux


[Kel'Thuz4d]: i have a dungeon to run


[Kel'Thuz4d]: pcs are going to be like raiding me and shiz


[theLichKing]: Oh please. The expansion is called "Wrath of the Lich King." It's got my _name_ in it. You don't think a few guilds are going to be farming me as soon as I'm a fightable boss?


[theLichKing]: probably not because i suck so much


[theLichKing]: DAMMIT SYLVANAS


[Kel'Thuz4d]: ok and now my cat is fwhwe8ufhffweeexvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv


[Kel'Thuz4d]: walking on my keyboard


[Kel'Thuz4d]: hold on afk


[theLichKing]: You have a cat?


[theLichKing]: Seriously?


[theLichKing]: You're a freaking skeleton lord. Why do you have a cat?


[Killzone'jaeden]: Yeah why *do* you have a cat?


[Kel'Thuz4d]: back, had to put the cat out


[Kel'Thuz4d]: and ok


[Kel'Thuz4d]: two things


[Kel'Thuz4d]: first, cats are awesome


[Kel'Thuz4d]: second, RACISM??


[Kel'Thuz4d]: "freaking skeleton lord"


[Killzone'jaeden]: WTF is wrong with you people?


[Kel'Thuz4d]: hey! what do you mean..."you people"


[Killzone'jaeden]: What do YOU mean, "you people"?


[Kel'Thuz4d]: hahahaha


[Killzone'jaeden]: Hahahaha...Tropic Thunder, great movie.


[Killzone'jaeden]: i like to poop


[theLichKing]: ...


[Killzone'jaeden]: Ok that one I actually did not say, that was Sylvanas that time


[theLichKing]: ...


[Killzone'jaeden]: No seriously this time it was her


[Kel'Thuz4d]: "this time"?


[Kel'Thuz4d]: wait so u really do like to wear womens clothes


[theLichKing]: You are, in fact, the prettiest prettiest princess?


[Killzone'jaeden]: No, of course not


[Kel'Thuz4d]: do u have a panty drawer


[Killzone'jaeden]: No! I wear boxers. With thorns on them.


[Killzone'jaeden]: And skulls.

[theLichKing]: Ok were the skulls on the kneecaps YOUR idea then??


[Killzone'jaeden]: Wait what?


[Kel'Thuz4d]: yeah dont change the subject


***User "SARGERAS" has entered the chat.***


[SARGERAS]: I WILL CONSUME ALL HTE WORLDS!!!!!!!!!!!!1


[SARGERAS]: I AM INVINICBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


[SARGERAS]: I AM HTE DARK TITAN!


[Killzone'jaeden]: oh god


[SARGERAS]: I WILL CONSUM ALL TEH WORLDS!!!!!!!!!


[theLichKing]: You actually said that already


[Killzone'jaeden]: He spelled it different though.


[Killzone'jaeden]: Dark Lord, there is an issue we need you to resolve


[SARGERAS]: NOTHING CAN DEFET ME BECUASE I AM DEFEAT EVERONE!!!!!!!!!!


[SARGERAS]: I AM SARGERAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


[SARGERAS]: TEH DARK TIT AN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


[Killzone'jaeden]: Right


[Killzone'jaeden]: But what we're going for is


[theLichKing]: Yeah I'm confident he'll be able to resolve this


[Killzone'jaeden]: The Lich King has this complaint...


[SARGERAS]: I AM DESTORYING ALL WORLDS RIGT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


[SARGERAS]: i wear little pink girly panties


[Kel'Thuz4d]: omg


[SARGERAS]: WHATTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


[theLichKing]: hahahahaha


[Kel'Thuz4d]: pwned


[SARGERAS]: I DID NTO SAY THAT!11111111111111111111


[Kel'Thuz4d]: i dunno about you guys but im kinda turned on right now


[theLichKing]: Rule 34


[SARGERAS]: yeah, you like that, there's more where that came from


[SARGERAS]: *twirls hair seductively*


[SARGERAS]: I DID NOT SYA THAT EITHERR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


[SARGERAS]: I WILL DESTROY ALL TEH WORLDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


[SARGERAS]: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


[SARGERAS]: !


[Kel'Thuz4d]: *dies laughing*


[Killzone'jaeden]: Ok I'm done


[Killzone'jaeden]: F this


[Killzone'jaeden]: I'm outta here


[Killzone'jaeden]: I hate Azeroth


[~*`Sylvanas'*~]: aw dont go :)


***User "Killzone'jaeden" has left the chat.***


[~*`Sylvanas'*~]: byeee~


[SARGERAS]: I USE SUPER ULTIMATE ATTACK FOR EIGHT MILLION POINS!!!!11


[theLichKing]: Hey I think he spelled all the words right in that one


[Kel'Thuz4d]: missed a t


[theLichKing]: Aw, yeah


[theLichKing]: So close


***User "~*`Sylvanas'*~" has left the chat.***


[Kel'Thuz4d]: ok im out too


[theLichKing]: Ugh fine


[theLichKing]: TTYL


[Kel'Thuz4d]: ttyl


***User "Kel'Thuz4d" has left the chat.***


[SARGERAS]: GAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!


[theLichKing]: This is the worst chat ever.


[theLichKing]: The worst.


[theLichKing]: The worst.


[theLichKing]: Whatevs, titan dude. I'm done.


[theLichKing]: Still freezing my ass off though.


[theLichKing]: *wrath*


***User "theLichKing" has left the chat.***


[SARGERAS]: *looks around*


[SARGERAS]: Chat empty?


[SARGERAS]: ...


[SARGERAS]: I have eaten


[SARGERAS]: the plums


[SARGERAS]: that were in


[SARGERAS]: the icebox


[SARGERAS]: and which


[SARGERAS]: you were probably


[SARGERAS]: saving


[SARGERAS]: for breakfast


[SARGERAS]: Forgive me


[SARGERAS]: they were delicious


[SARGERAS]: so sweet


[SARGERAS]: and so cold


[SARGERAS]: ;-)


***User "SARGERAS" has left the chat.***

napsal/a: Aelii 02:56 Link


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