Tell me why, after I try,
to save someone I love,
the only thing I get,
isn´t her, but her back,
Is that what I deserve,
Is that right ?
-
A punishment for my hypocrisy ?
A punishment straight to my heart,
by endless broken electricity ?
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I remember that day, you were in a hospital,
I got off the train and looked above,
What I saw was just hard rain and black giant clouds
-
And then like an echo, a voice appeared in my head
It sounded like :
-
"That pathetic idiot got you in a hospital"
"He is just overreacting dick and obviously a mental"
It was my old friend, who would apparently like to treat me - dental ...
-
It was the one who didn´t give a shit when you lost your vision,
It was the one who would rather obsessively spit on me than listen, do anything or pay attention.
-
I pushed it out of my mind,
It was your friend, but ...
Well okay, to be honest I didn´t,
But I really tried
-
I tried to respect drug addicted mental crazy cow,
looking for someone when depressed or with a need to discuss that when she cried, She saw a "black crow" ...
-
I tried to respect broken human being,
Who had to live with her secret "dead" feelings,
But after some time, spent looking right into her lying eyes,
I realized,
the truth.
-
She was already lost, taking everyone around,
with her into starving broken hell,
of unfulfilled wishes,
full of other mentaly broken bitches,
And I knew you don´t deserve to be draged there,
Into that self-destructing outter sphere.
-
I tried to respect your instincts,
That you won´t get yourself into trouble,
But after some time hoping you know what you´re doing,
those troubles reached numbers of double
-
People dayly around you, weared guns,
On a daylight,
they spilled the strongest alcohol, they could find into their guts,
And thinking of them-selves like they´re anti-authority devils,
Without rules, "´cause they sucks"
-
Every your friend was somehow mentaly injured,
I understand that,shit happens,
But if their cure ...
... is a drug, I am sorry babe,
No reasonable boyfriend would just stand and watch them,
threaten you,
Cause I wasn´t as stupid as a fucking bug.
-
Heroin running throgh someone´s veins,
is still heroin,
even after many years,
The body may not know it anymore,
But what knows it forever ?
right answer : The brain. That it is.
-
If theese people are better than me,
If they treated you better than me ...
Tell me, what am I,
after I did everything, to be there for you,
after three word fightings, with that god damned nurse to let me in,
To be with you.
-
Tell me who was there with you all the day, and run from one doctor to another,
Who cared for you more than for any other,
Who had to live with your friends who used your good heart and will,
Who drained you, borrowed money without returning, with just shit spilling out of their mouth,
When you asked them to give it back.
-
Tell me who sacrificed everything and did what he could to fulfill your wish,
To give you true love, not some not washing fish,
but skies ... above us.
-
Who cared of you even if it meant to fuck the school,
Who hold your hand and shared your fear, to lighten your pain, who tried to be there, or at least tightly near
-
You want to tell me that arabic, bigamic,
always sentimental or nostalgic fool,
is better than me ?
-
He wasn´t even loyal to his girlfriend or best friend, and didn´t have the guts to clean the mess he dealt ?
He may be calling himself a friend, but I know he doesn´t give a shit,
He is though broken, in his soul, alone, even surrounded by others.
But the cruel life signed on him, that´s why he does this, because he suffers.
-
But is this right ?
To hold someone´s feelings that tight ?
In shaky hands, so scared of it´s own ?
-
This one little man, with huge global troubles,
managed to destroy much more than he thinks,
by behaving like this shortsighting vagus,
-
You were my beauty, surrounded by monsters,
Who needed me, And I needed your eyes coloured by a fire.
-
You may love someone else,
So please be it,
But don´t tell me they´re better.
Cause you don´t even know how much I cried for you.
Don´t doubt that. Never !