the thoughts&moods diary

who am i to judge? who decides in which place we start our existence? za okny skleniku se pomalu a line roztahuje vecer...chtel bych byt rozzehovacem luceren...mel bych cely vecer pro sebe...pouze stiny prelevajici se z jednoho rohu domu na druhy by mne provazely...padajici tma zastrene zahlti krajinu...za okny je pouze slyset hlas tise umirajiciho radia...shipping forecast...numbers broadcasted across the globe to mean something to somebody...what a wonderful thought...to mean something to somebody...play my dead flag blues...low humm of the music ripping through my mind...ano, kazdy vecer se odpojim od svoji mysli...dole v dire si snazim niceho a nikoho nevsimat...predstiram nespokojenost, kdyz do mne nekdo vrazi...pocit normalnosti...stalo se to takto...vse spadlo jak domecek z karet...patro po patru...mohli jsme si rvat vlasy, ale co by to pomohlo..nebe bylo plne ohne, vse olizovalo oranzove zlate paprsky...zkroucene pahyly zeleza trcely k nebi...podivali jsem se na sebe....kiss me you are beautiful...a spadli jsem do toho....a pak? a pak se opet probudim...otocim klicem v zamku do sveta plnych nicnerikajicich zvuku...zbyva pouze usnout

Autor: ctrl3d v 17:32 | Komentáře

rano, opet zase dalsi rano, mrazivost vzduchu hezky prorizne mysl s vysledkem myslenky....vstavej nebo tady jednou shnijes....bojim se rozsvitit abych nevyhnal posledni zbytek skoro probdele noci...rana jsou krizova...cestou z kopce na metro potkavam ty same tvare neustale dokola...schvalne, budu je potkavat za 30 let rano az pujdu opet z kopce do prace?...prestal jsem kourit, moje rana se ted zdaji ochuzena o pocit sebeniceni sveho zdravi...pozoruji bezici stiny po chodniku ktere se pevne drzi svych tel padicich na tramvaj...stejne prijede za 5 minut dalsi...jdete pesky...proc si namahat hlasivky...proc se vubec namahat, proc se nezastavit na chvili za ucelem divat se pred sebe nebo kolem sebe...4 mesic v Praze....4 mesic vnitrniho boje uvnitr...bbc thoughts and moods diary...rano tam a vecer zpet...nikde se nezastavit...pouze chybi napis ktere vital moje prarodice na jejich posledni ceste...arbeit macht frei...zacnu pracovat na zmenach...

Autor: ctrl3d v 08:39 | Komentáře

I am a sailor and I lost my leg.....words going round and round in my head.....will they ship me up to Boston?

music in the morning in my ears, empty stares in the tube, empty stares in the tram, a crowd of mutualy agreeing sheeps is on the move again...bha bha get from a to b....i want to scream, shout, smack and tear, tear the grey fabric of this city from its face...wake up everybody...time like grains of sand is running through our fingers more quickly every day...it's a race i want to desperately win but so far i have been losing everyday...bbc in the morning, yes i know i am supposed to keep my thoughts and mood diary but to combat what exactly? depression? don't make me laugh, it's the very esence of feeling some pain that allows me to breath every morning...i stare at the face in the mirror, its hollow eyes are starring back at me....hello silently formulate the lips in the mirror...what the fuck are you doing here? it's exactly 15 meters from my bedroom window to the pavement...is it enough to tear off the grey fabric from my face? what a bloody mess that would be to land infront of a morning tram...it might make some people feel alive again...cruiously gossiping women would experience one mind blowing orgasmus after another by witnessing the not so rare event of somebody dying on tram tracks...15 meters, is it enough?...what do you think? i think the pavement with its century old cobbled stones is far too close...maybe one day i will move elsewhere, get an apparment on 5th or 6th floor, then i will give the neighbours to talk about something one morning...bbc and it's mood and thoughts diary...here is my thought for the day...get drunk, get laid, swallow your self-pitty, learn to live with another day

Autor: ctrl3d v 16:56 | Komentáře

leto skoncilo....za okny opet pribyva tma

Autor: ctrl3d v 23:16 | Komentáře